I miss the days before I had major responsibilities. I do love the life I have now, but there's so little time to do the things that impassioned me to become the person I am today.
Mostly, I miss doing my photography. My friends that would model for me are no longer there and I have a house now and a (loving) boyfriend and three dogs(my children). I still do other forms of art, such as crochet and paint, but my true and first art love is photography. It was so calming and inspiring being able to see the world and people for how beautiful they were, but still depict them in my own way. I still showed the beauty, just as how I saw it. I appreciated people and the Earth and everything around me. I feel as though I have lost that light in my soul. I have been hardened by bills and stress and obligations. I have to go to work and do the dishes and vacuum the carpets and take the dogs on a walk and exercise myself as well as making sure I eat right and cook for my little family and maybe if I'm not too exhausted, I can crochet a hat or two and watch a little Netflix.
The years have gone by so fast and time can go by so fast. Sometimes I wanna slow down and go back to when I could just leave the house, go to the superstition mountains all day and just take pictures and watched the colored sunsets and leave when I felt it was necessary. There was never a weight on my shoulder of things I had to get done.
My camera has been in my art room, in it's case, untouched, for probably about 8 months now..
I guess this is just a really long way of saying that I miss photography. I miss seeing the world in an enlightened way and I miss seeing the beauty in people. And I love photographing people. I love it way more that doing landscapes. I love seeing the way a person can portray such emotion and how it can completely determine the mood of the seer. I, as a photographer, do set the mood myself as well, but it's the model, the people that let my ideas come to life.
I miss it. And one day I will do it again and I'll post them on here and I'll be so proud of them.
Cheaper than therapy
and something that gives me peace.